Monday, May 22, 2006,9:37 am
dots .
ohkay . i ADMIT . i've been going out late these few days .but i was really shocked that they treated me like that .ever since last thursday .she's been scolding me overr the smallest little things .when i was holding something wrongly.when i went out t0o late.when i got lost.the tution teacherr said i didnt need to have tution.and qiang was supposed to go .then she FORCED me to go cos he was sleeping .and scolded me cos i didnt prepare my books .then shuni they all had to leavee early cos she last minute tell me .they usedd to be understanding .now out of blue suddenly scolding me . what does she want me to do ?haiis . i dont know . i miss the reasonable and understanding mum i had .now .i cant seem to tell her ANYTHING .we never share anymore laughs .she doesnt even seem to care anymore .scolding without reason .i felt really blocked out today .i dont know .i felt . pulled away from God .during lesson .they were being so insensitive and mean lorhs .i dont feel like i can grow spiritually with them .in fact. they make me HATE going to church .i dont want to pull away from God . i really dont.but i cant grow with them either .but they're the ones i grew up with .and i cant bear to part with them either .during worship .my heart .totally devoid of meaning.singing empty songs.i didnt even know WHY i was there .the basis of everything i believed in .suddenly opened a BLANK .everything's crashing at the WRONG TIMES .i dont know what to do anymore .
heartofGodchurch